How Could I?
by Shinderera
Summary: How the series would go if Ed was infatuated with Envy. Ed loving him, but knowing he shouldn't. Envy's own quest for his humanity through Ed.
1. Chapter 1

Right well, this is based off the manga. and starts in Volume 13 when Ed and Lin are swallowe by Gluttony. It's short. It's the begining so..yeah. It starts off following the manga pretty closly and then goes off. Don't own it.

VOOM!

It was the stench that woke him up. A familiar, but just same wretched odor. His whole body hurt. Well at least the flesh parts did. A good and bad part about having mechanical limbs was he didn't always know how damaged they were or weren't unless he saw the damage being inflicked. He moved around a bit. Lifting both arms and kicking up both legs. Everything seemed to be working alright.

With a grunt he stood up. Much to his dismay he had been laying in fou smelling liquid and was now drenched in it. A look of disgust scrunched up his face as he kept his stomach under control through sheer act of will. Once he was able to do that he looked around. Where the hell was he? Unending darkness stretching out on all sides. He felt incrediably grateful that there were several planks of wood burning brightly lighting the area he was standing in.

Huge chunks of what were once greek columns, broken statues, bits of houses and clothed skeletons floated in the putrid sea. Where the hell was he? The last thing he remembered was fighting Gluttony. Ribs that more resembled huge teeth and a large eye peering through blackness. He was _swallowed_. Was this really Gluttony's stomach? It was absurd to think.

He brought a hand up to wipe the liquid from his face. He got a good wiff of it from his hand and moved his hand from his face to really look at it. He smelled iron. Was this..blood?! He looked down at the dark sea that came up to his knees. It was. This was an ocean of rotting blood. What kind of a place was this? Was he dead and sent to Hell for his sins? Was he the only one here?

"Al?! Lin?!" Was he really alone in this horrid place? Panic was setting in and he began shouting franticly for anyone-anyone who was here and might hear him. Anyone that could tell where he was and how to get back home.

There had to be someone else in the place. He couldn't really be alone. Plus he hadn't been the only one fighting Gluttony. Lin had to be here too. Ed was touching him when he was swallowed since he had been trying to push Lin out of Gluttony's attack range. It only made sense that he had been swallowed as well.  
"Idiot Prince?!"

"Who're you calling an idiot?!" Ed almost fell over.

"Lin!" It was surprising, almost shocking that Lin really was here. He, of course was trying to convince himself that he was, but self assuring and fact were two different things and Ed was begining to give up hope. Because when you think about it, if they both were swallowed, shouldn't they have landed in the same spot? But they hadn't and Ed couldn't be more grateful for the lack of logic in this place. He wasn't alone. Lin was here and they would find a way out. They had to.

"That's no way to speak to the prince of a nation!" Ed ignored him and sloshed his way through the fetid blood.

"Well how do I know you're the real Lin? You could be Envy in disguise." He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. That would be just like Envy too. Sneaky little bastard. Had be been swallowed as well? There was no way of knowing, though Ed doubted it. Surely Gluttony wouldn't be stupid enough to swallow his own comrad right?

"Would you like me to recite the service menu, top to bottom from the hotel you stayed at?" Lin said through gritted teeth. How dare he accuse him of being an imposter! Sure Envy could shape-shift, but no one could pull of the air of royalty he had about him, thank you very much.

"Ok. You're the real Lin." Ed hissed.

"And how do I know you're not Envy, you li-"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A LITTLE RUNT?!"

"Ok...you're the real thing." Ed gave him a vicious glare. Lin sighed.

"Right well, onto more important things..where are we?" Lin shrugged.

"I don't know. When I woke up I was in complete darkness. I walked and walked but there was no to it. Finally I found an open flame. I think I would've gone crazy if I hadn't." Ed grimaced, he had been fortunate enough to wake up near several open flames. But where did the open flames even come from? He thought for a second and then he was sure he knew where it came from.

"I think this is from when Gluttony swallowed the Colonel's attack. Heh, Bastard's good for something afterall." Though it brought a heavy realization upon both of them. They really _had_ been swallowed.

"Can this really be Gluttony's stomach?"

"I don't know. But whatever it is it certainly can't be good if Envy wanted him to swallow us." Ed bit his tongue. He wanted to shout out that Envy had only ordered Gluttony to swallow Lin..not Ed. Envy would never order him to-He wanted to hit himself, but Lin would think him crazy for just spontaneously punching himself. But how could he even think that? Lin was his_ friend_. And Envy was..Envy. Ed knew where he stood with Envy. Of course he would never order Gluttony to swallow him or even kill Ed himself. He was their precious sacrafice. Envy made sure Ed knew that. Lin however was his friend. He could, somewhat, trust him. He couldn't trust Envy. In fact he should be pissed at Envy for trying to kill his friend! He was. He was pissed as hell.

"Whatever. There has to be a way out of this place." Ed broke a few pieces off wood, making a torch and some wood for later to keep a fire going. Lin had already made one from bones some ago before meeting up with Ed. Ed trudged forth, the thick blood making his legs feel heavy and his movements uncoordinated and awkward. Lin looked around seeing varies objects from different time periods and different lands.

"..I'm begining to think there is no exit from this place.."

"I don't care! I'm STILL gonna find a way out!" And kick Envy's ass..that jerk! This was all his fault! Nevermind that it was Gluttony that had done the actual swallowing.

"And how do you propose we find a way out?"

"If there's no exit, I'll just make one!" Ed thought for a second and then stamped his foot.

"There's a ground!" So there was an end to this place. There was a floor, so there had to be something under the floor meaning there was a way out. He quickly transmuted a small, circular wall from the elements contained in blood. It held the blood back so he could see the ground. He bent down and fingered the dirt, frowning.

"It's more like clotted blood than dirt. Ah well...I can make a hole in it. Here it goes." He clapped his hands and created a hole with a flash of light. Lin wordlessly handed him a quickly made torch. Ed tossed it in. Nothing.....Still nothing....Silence. The hole was bottomless. Lin dashed off, Ed not far behind.

"Let's find a wall!"

Some time later, no wall to be found, morale low and exhaustion creeping into their bones. Ed and Lin collapsed in a large round, flat stone. Possibly a for a statue or was once a small stage. Who knew? Right now it was feeling more like they're grave.

"I'm sorry.." Both boys were sprawled out, laying on the cold hard stone. Already becoming desensitized to the putrid smell of the rotted blood. The small fire from the torch barely warming their wet, old bodies. Ed turned his head in Lin's direction.

"What for?"

"You were swallowed becuase you tried to protect me." He whispered in a cracked tired voice. Ed looked up at the never ending darkness. He shrugged.

"Don't worry. This is nothing. I've been through worse." He rememberd his teacher and shuddered a little. Lin raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask.

After a moment of silence, Ed had almost fallen asleep. His exhaustion lulling him to close his eyes and give into sweet rest, but the cold and dampness of his clothes prevented him from doing such. He was abruptly pulled out of of his fluttering between consciousness and unconsciousness by Lin standing him and shouting out, "Who's there?!" Ed quickly stood up, making his head spin. He blinked a few times, willing away the blurryness from his vision.

A figure began slowly emerging from the shadows. Ed could hear the faint sloshing sounds of the blood being walked through. Who could..? His eyes widened as the figure came closer, the dim firelight danced off of his muscular form and wild hair. Envy. Ed was at a loss. Should he be angry? Excited? Envy no doubt knew the way out and was probably here to bring back his precious sacrafice. Ass.

"I saw a light and figured it would be you two." Ed closed his eyes. His voice..damn him..even his voice sent shivers down his spine. Made his knees weak and his heart beat wildly in his chest. Envy's pace quickened and the sloshing became louder, like thunder sounding in Ed's hear and echoing through his body. His opened his eyes and Envy was right there, hopping onto the round flat surface he and Lin stood on. No. Ed stepped back, but Envy advanced too fast for his fatigued body to react fast enough.

Long feminine, but lethal fingers grabbed Ed's shirt and pulled him close to the androgynous and scantily clad body. Cold lips firmly planted against his own. In a panic he tried to push Envy away. Not in front of lin! He though hysterically. No no no. He never wanted anyone to know. But Envy was not one to be denied. His strong arms pulled Ed closer without any space between them. Ed could feel all of Envy against him and he felt himself become lost in the sensations of the sinfully sweet mouth against his, the hands all over his body. He heard a loud moan and felt Envy press harder against him. To his horror he realized it was him and Lin was watching. Lin knew what Ed had done and Ed knew what Lin was thinking.

_How could I?_


	2. Chapter 2

Envy burst through the door, despite the protests of the blonde behind him. A black haired man sat behind a desk looking annoyed at the sudden intrusion. Even more so when he noticed that the door was hanging off of it's hinges. He sighed.

"Envy...Is there any particular reason why you like breaking down my doors?"

"Nah..Just showing my affection is all." Said the androgynos, seemingly young man in a nasaly voice. Roy Mustang rolled his eyes. Ed could see his fingers itching to 'snap!'. Jumping into the fray and stopping the impending fight before it started, Ed stepped in between his lover and his best friend.

"Um..you called us for an assignment?" He said quickly. Roy nodded, annoyance of Envy's antics forgotten for the moment, he sifted the piles of paperwork scattered across his desk. In the span of exactly 10 seconds that it took to find the documents Roy had for him to investigate, Ed felt Envy's hand roll over his shoulder and carress down his chest, like a waterfall of sensuality.

"Mmm." Ed let his head roll back, resting on Envy's nearly bare shoulder. His lover's arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer, a soft pair of lips sprinkled tender kisses along his neck. Mustang rolled his eyes and loudly cleared his throat. Ed looked at him sheepshly, Envy paid him no mind as he dragged his long tongue up Edward's neck.

It had been a dream of his. Not the kind one has when they're asleep. But the kind you long for. Hope for. Want so much it hurts. The worst part was he didn't understand why. Why he wanted it so badly. That..comfort...normalcy...The trust and...and the love. The utter peace he felt when he held Envy in his arms, or when Envy hugged him from behind. Not only showing, but giving his back to his enemy and his enemy placing kisses along his neck.

It was foolish.

He knew that of course. Knew how wrong it was to hope. To want something so out of reach and so impossible. To even think it...Think that there could be..more. Something beyond the lies and the deceit..the hiding from his friends and family. The pain.

He remebered laying in his bed, sometimes with Envy, sometimes not, just thinking. Imagining. Praying even..to anyone that would listen. He knew it was futile. Things were the way they were and he felt like an idiot to even pretend that they could've been different. Envy would never be so..tender and caring..and Roy would never approve of his..relations with the homonculus. Because when you got to it, that's what it was. A fake relationship with a fake human. It was unatural and no matter how much his mind twisted it into something natural and true, it just wasn't and it never would be.

It was wrong, wrong in so many ways. What he let Envy do to him...what he hid behind everyone's back..Al..Roy....Winry. He wasn't sure which one hurt more. But he knew if any of them ever found out..it would not only crush him..but them too. They trusted him..loved him..and he lied. He was no different from Envy and what he did to Ed. He lied and lied and betrayed. He stabbed the people he claimed to love in the back, directly into their hearts.

_How Could I?_

Perhaps it wasn't so much the 'how' but the 'why'. _Why _did he let it happen? Why did he do it? Why did he continue doing it? Why did he decieve the people that meant so much to him? Because...because he loved him. He _loved _Envy. Loved him so much it hurt. Hurt his heart..hurt his body. And yet he kept going back to him. Again and again, letting Envy defile him over and over, leaving a broken mess when he was through with him. How could he love such a horrible person? Not even a person. Fake. Fake love. There was so much fakeness in his life, it was drowning him, suffocating his heart and fogging his eyes.

Envy's mouth upon his. Suffocating. He kissed him with a sort of desperation, his hands holding Ed tightly against his body. If Ed hadn't been desperate to get away, he would have been taken aback by Envy being so..almost as if he was..concerned. Envy's hand came up to Ed's cheek, pulling him closer, his tongue invading Ed's mouth. Ed couldn't stop the moan from escaping his throat. Envy's body was flush against his. He could feel all of him, all of the body he loved so much. He never could deny Envy's eccentric but captivating beauty. And he felt himself forgetting why he should be fighting Envy's advances off. His arms slipped around Envy's waist, holding him against him. He couldn't possibly pull him closer.

His eyes closed, and his mouth fervently responding to Envy's. His hands raked up and down the muscles adorning Envy's back, running his fingers through Envy's hair, touching in any way he could. He couldn't get enough of him. His smell, his taste, the feel of him. He wanted all of it.

Lin couldn't believe what he was seeing. Were they really doing..what he thought they were doing? When Envy had appraoched Ed, Lin had assumed it was some sort of attack..A really..aggressive sort of attack. But now Ed seemed really into it. What in the world was going on? Were Envy and Ed..some kind of a..couple? If so..Why did Ed never tell him he was so close to an immortal? He thought they were friends! When Ed started moaning and touching Envy, Lin was shocked. Needless to say, it was weird watching your ally and you Enemy make out rather..ardently. Should he just stand here? Or maybe give them..space? Um..there was also the issue of getting out of here..

"Um...If I may interupt...I WOULD LIKE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Ed practicaly jumped out of Envy's arms, panting, face flushed. Envy looked more than just a little pissed. He flipped his hair and folded his arms around his chest. Ed looked at him expectingly. Envy sighed.

"There is no way out." He said bluntly. Ed looked postively crestfallen, as did Lin. Hmph humans. There was no point in whining, what was done was done. Gluttony sure as shit made a mess of things though. Ed got a determined look on his face. Envy smirked. That was his chibi-chan. He took a step forward and slipped his arms around Ed's waist. Ed looked paniced and grabbed Envy's arms, preventing him from fully hugging him. He cast a galnce over at Lin. Envy became angered.

"We're stuck here. Who gives a fuck if your little friend knows or not?" He growled menacingly. He was the one who should be ashamed. Ed was the fucking human. The disgusting worthless human that for some reason he wasted his time on. He would not be looked down upon. Not treated like the vermin here.

"We are going to get out of here! I don't care what you say! There HAS to be a way. And I do give a fuck! In case you haven't realized, we're not exactly fighting for the same cause here!"

Lin felt it was best to remain quiet.

Ed was pissed at Envy. Of course he didn't care about Ed's friends. He ordered Gluttony to eat Lin! But couldn't at least understand that Ed DIDN'T want anyone to know? Same as Envy didn't want his little homonculus family to know about Ed. But of course that didn't matter. Why should he care about utterly destroying Ed's ties with his friends and family. As long as he had a hole to fuck, what did it matter?

Envy let go of Ed. There was no point in argueing right now. Maybe he would just kill that little Xing brat and the problem would be solved.

"I told you..there is no way out. We are in Glutton'y stomach, yet we are not. Think about it. This should feel..familar to you. It happened before..didn't it Chibi-chan?" Ed glared at Envy for the 'Chibi' remark. He was used to it at this point, but still never failed to annoy the hell out of him. He sighed. That wasn't important right now. He thought about what Envy could possibly be talking about. Familiar?

An Eye. A monsterous eye, seeming to peer into his very soul.

"The Portal of Truth...But that can't be right. It was..white. A pure space..not..not like this." Envy's arms came to loosely wrap around Edward again. He didn't stop him this time. He needed to know. He prayed Lin could keep a secret once they were out of here.

"Oh? Is that what the real one looks like?" Envy idly nibbled on Ed's neck.

"Real One?"

"Hmm. Gluttony is a failed experiment of Father's. He is an artificial Portal." Lick. "This place exists between reality and Truth. There is no way out." Ed Could feel Envy's arms tighten around him, his fingers gripping him almost painfully. "We have no choice but to sit here and die.." He whispered seethingly against Ed's neck. Ed shivered.

"I'll figure out something."

"Figure out WHAT?! There's nothing to figure out Chibi-chan! We're stuck here? Why can't you get that through your head?!"

"Because I can't accept that! I can't leave Al! I have a _family_ Envy! I won't just abandon them.." Envy had let go of him and was standing in front of him, head down, his hair covering his face. Ed could practicaly feel the anger radiating off of him. He heard a shuffling sound behind him and turned his head to see Lin climb over some large stones and hide behind them. Idiot Prince. His attention was redirected to Envy.

_"I'm getting really fucking tired of hearing about that little tin bitch brother of yours."_ That was all he ever fucking talked about! Al this and Al that and how he never wanted Al to find out about his little relationship with Envy. As if he was the only making a risk here! Al always came first. Envy didn't even come at all. They were in a place that had _no_ exit. It was pointless to even try or worry what was going to happen next. It was obvious. They were all going to die. That's just how it was. At least they were _together_. They might as well be dead, they no longer had any obligations to anyone. They could be together without having to look over their shoulders everytime they touched..And all he could think about was Al?!

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ed's fists clenched. What was Envy trying to start? If they really did end up dieing here, was it really a wise choice to start fighting?

"Do you need automail ears as well? You heard me." Envy really hated how stupid humans could be.

"Oh, I heard you. What I don't get is you're calling my brother a bitch when you're acting like one!"

"What did you just call me _human_?!" Envy's eyes were wide with anger, but Ed wasn't intimidated in the slightest. This was but one of many little hissy fits that Envy like to throw.

"Yes, that's right Envy. I'm a human. Though..you don't seem to have any complaints when you're fucking me. Guess you're not so high and mighty after all." Ed was immediately brought down, punched down actually, from his high horse as Envy's fist collided with his cheek.

"_Fuck you_."

"No. Fuck _you_ Envy! I'm sick of your shit!" Ed spat a glob of blood onto the hard rock they were standing on. "You act like your some sort of God and I should be tickled pink that you even give me the time of day! Well I'm not! I'm sick of hiding, I'm sick of lieing! I'm sick of-of you and all the pain you cause me! I may be a human, but you're nothing but a _fake_! A mon-" Ed stopped. He knew he was going to far. And he knew he didn't mean what he was saying. Of course he was tired of it all. He wanted things to be diiferent. But things were what they were, and he accepted that. And..it was all worth it. All of it was worth it to be with him. But he was mad and people say things they don't mean when they're mad. He wanted to hurt Envy. Hurt him like Ed hurt. It was a human moment and one he would regret more than anything.

"Finish your sentence Ed. Go ahead. Say it. I'm a _monster_, aren't I?" He was eerily calm. And that worried Ed more than any angry tirade. What had he done? _"You...have no idea just how much of a monster I can be.."_


	3. Chapter 3

Envy grinned. That sick demented grin that Ed hated so much, his eyes widening in his mania.

"Do you remember what the initial cause of the Ishbalan war was?" Envy asked, his voice more high-pitched than normal. Glee. He was positively glowing. Ed let out a shaky breath. He wasn't sure what Envy was getting at, but he knew for certain that he didn't want to know.

"An officer..shot and killed an Ishbalan child." He whispered, but Envy heard him and his face took on an even more insane look. Ed dreaded what Envy would say next like never before.

"_I, Envy am the one who shot and killed that child._"

"No…" Ed whispered pleadingly. He felt sick, dizzy, like the world was spinning too fast. He had always known Envy had done terrible things. He knew it. But he thought that if he saw past that, he would see…something more in Envy. He wanted to believe that Envy was a pawn forced to do what he did and was capable of feeling. Of love. But this…how could he? How could he?

"Humans are so foolish. So easy to manipulate."

"You…caused the war that left my home in ruins.."

"I even disguised myself as a military officer."

"The war that caused that death of Winry's parents." _Winry._

"Yes Ed. And I loved every minute of it. Loved it more than I love fucking you."

Ed screamed. How could he do this? How could he...How could Ed have ever loved a monster like him. Envy was right. He hadn't known. Hadn't any idea what he capable of, the utter savagery. The complete disregard for life. More than that. The absolute love of carnage.

He was trembling. With fear. With anger. He had never felt so broken and so hopeless. There was no light at the end of this tunnel. There was nothing and his heart was dead. Envy was close again. His arms in a mocking display of affection were hanging on Ed's shoulders.

"Do you feel sick Chibi-chan? I bet you do. That sickness…that's what it's like fucking a human...that only sees you as a monster." Ed snapped. He punched Envy with all his strength. His metal fist colliding against Envy's pale cheek. His head barely turned from the force.

"You wanna fight me? Do you Ed? You wanna fight your little fuck toy. Did I displease you?" Envy sneered.  
"SHUT UP!" He hit him again. Envy leapt out of the way just in time laughing.

"We're all going to die here anyway...how about I show you something...interesting." Alchemy sizzled off of Envy, his form shifting and changing. Growing. He was becoming more and more hideous. More monstrous. He grew and grew.

Lin drew Ed out of his thoughts, forcing him to focus on the situation at hand. "I noticed something...when we were fighting…the ground Envy stood on was really sunken in...meaning his real form...must be.."

"Huge…" Ed finished for Lin as the completed result stood before them like a dragon out of a fairy tale. Only far more grotesque.

"_Doon't look at...mee_." The voice was whispering, yet the utter monstrosity shook Ed to the very core. Envy…this is what he really looked like? This is what he fell in love with? What had fucked him all those nights? This beast...Oh God...he felt sick. He was going to vomit, he just knew it.

Envy was absolutely repulsive. A beast. Not only did he have scales and claws, but he had distorted human bodies globbed onto him like parasites. It was repulsive, and frightening.

"_Do you see me?_ Do you see me?" It wasn't just Envy speaking, but the bodies, no, not bodies. Ed could see that now. They were souls. Souls of the people that died in order to create Envy. Ed understood now why Envy was so vain. Why every time someone looked at him with anything other than desire he got so angry. Envy took great pride in his looks because what he truly looked like wasn't pretty at all. It was beyond hideous. He was a wretched creature that used the souls of the dead as fuel.

"Edward..._Do you see me?_" Ed looked up. He had to turn away for he couldn't bare the sight, but Envy wanted him to see. He called him by his name. He never did that...never. It was always 'Ed' or some sort of insult or a weird term of endearment said in that mocking tone of his. Envy wasn't fucking with him this time. He was serious. And that scared Ed more than anything.

"_Do you_? Do you? Edward.._.Edward_." Ed closed his eyes tightly. Lin was in a defensive stance, ready to fight.

"I see you Envy..." Ed whispered. A hand from one of the souls reached out and touched Ed's head. He let out a shuddering sigh "I see you." _And I still love you._ Ed held in the sob that threatened to escape. Why?!? Why couldn't he hate him? After everything he'd done. He even bragged about it! Rubbed it in Ed's face, letting Ed know just how despicable he was. He _was_ a monster. He killed and killed and he loved every minute of it. He had no respect for life or the suffering he caused, he found it all...so very amusing. What did this abomination have that made Ed love him so fucking much? No. Not even that. What Ed felt wasn't a great love that would 'transcend time and space', but it was enough to want to see past the darkness. And that meant more than anything else.

Ed walked up to Envy and placed a hand on Envy's massive ankle that led to an equally massive gargoyle like foot.

"We're really stuck here..aren't we?" Ed sighed. Envy leaned his enormous dragon like head down closer to Ed. Souls trembling and crying, writhing and gasping. Ed squeezed his eye closed as he felt more hands touch him.

"I love you Envy...I love you so much it hurts." He clenched his flesh fist against the hard skin of Envy's leg. "And I hate you. I hate so fucking much that I can just kill you." He hissed, meaning every contradictory word. Envy said nothing.

Lin, feeling rather forgotton had walked to other side of the stone platform that he and Ed had found. He figured it best to leave them alone. It was..baffling to say the least. Ed and Envy were..together. It was weird. Lin understood why Ed would keep something like this a secret. He and Envy were supposed to be enemies after all. Hell..seemed like they still were...just fucked every now and then.

He had been laying down, staring up at the black emptiness when he heard it. It was quite and very faint but he had been abl eto hear every word clearly. So..Ed was in love with the monster. But how could he love something so...grotesque? Though Lin wasn't concerned about that, not really. What bothered him the most was the fact that Ed had been so close to a homunculous, to an immortal and he had never bothered to metion it to Lin. Hmph. Jerk. And they were supposed to be friends. In all honesty though..Lin wanted that immortal...he would wait for Ed to get his wits together and figure a way out of here and then...Envy was his. He would bring the immortal to his father and he would earn the emperor's good graces and then he would become emperor himself and save his clan and rule the nation. Ha, it was perfect.

"Then kill me Edo-chan." He seethed mockingly. "Kill me. _Kill me_" The souls mimicked.

"I can't.."

"Because you're weak. Human. _Human_." The echoes of the dead rung in his head. He was weak. Envy was right. His heart just wasn't strong enough. Why? Why couldn't he even cut himself from Envy? Just leave him and move on. He had a mission1 He had Al and he had Winry. Winry..God..Ed wished it had been her that he loved so fervently. Why couldn't it have been her? That's how thing should've been. It was _right. _Ed could have been happy with her. They could've gotten married and ahd children and be normal. _Normal_. And whole. Not this shallow imitation of love and feelings. Not this fakeness, this false relationship with this wretched beast. This mockery of love.

Ed backed away. He couldn't do this. He gave Envy one last look and then walked back to where Lin had set the fire. He grabbed a large stick lit at the end in a makeshift torch and headed out to the bloody sea and the never ending darkness. Lin saw him and got up as well. He didn't say a word.

"What do you think you're doing?" Envy's voice boomed, though Ed suspected it wasn't even near the highest range it could reach.

"I'm going to find a way out." He answered calmly not looking at Envy.

"There is no way out! Why can't you get that through your head?! _Head?! Get it through! Give up..die..you're going to die." _The voices of those tortured souls send chills all over Ed's body.

"Because I can't ok?! I just can't! I need to get out of here! Al needs me!" Ed shouted. But obviosuly that was not the answer Envy wanted to hear, for his gigantic tail came swiping across the ocean of blood like a torpedo, crashing into Ed and throwing him a fair distance. He stopped when he collided against a large rock. He nearly passed out as pain shruck his body like lightening. As he stood on shaky legs he looked around with blurry vision and saw Envy standing not quite as far as he thought. Sure as hell felt like he had been thrown miles away though.

"Why?! Why does he _always_ come first? Why not me?!" The booming voice echoed through Ed's head, pulsating with pain. He was going to be sick for sure. What was he even talking about? Lin dashed over to him just before he fell into the lake of blood and probably end up drowning. Good thing Lin was here..Envy would've let him drown for sure.

Lin picked him up and set him on the portruding bottom, part of the rock he had been thrown against. It took him a few minutes, but soon he was able to see straight and had managed to push down his nausea. A miraculous feat indeed, especially considering the horrid stench of decay and blood.

Loud sloshing, like waves moving closer and closer. Ed looked up and saw Envy walking towards them. He looked at him wearily, no longer having the strengh to deal with him. Envy sparked and sizzled with alchemy as he shrunk in size and became the odd looking boy with a skort and revealing top that he so loved. It was weird..seeing him like this again. It seemed unreal, like he was imagining it. He was so out of it that Envy didn't even seem real, just a mirage. An illusion that he no longer cared to look at.

"Why Edward." It was a statement. A demand.

"...I could ask you the same thing. Why Envy? Why did you kill that boy? Why must you destroy everything I love?" He asked with a cracking voice. He was exhausted.

"You say you love me. Yet you can't even accept me. I am what I am Ed. I am a homunculous and I will kill more. I must..not because I haven't any other choice..but because it's what I am."

"Why can't you be more than that? I wanted so badly for there to be more..the way you.." He stopped there. He wasn't going to say anymore. He had to stop clinging to false affections. There was no point and he was disgusted with himself enough as it was. He had more important things to think about. He had to get out of here and get back to Al.

Lin remained silent and for that he was grateful. He stood up on his own now, Lin close by in case he should collapse again. He looked around again. He turned around and looked at the rock he had been thrown against. His eyes widened with shock..and hope. There may be a way out after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Instantly Ed recalled being in the searing hot dessert and the incomplete ruins. This was the answer. It all made sense now. Gluttony, as Envy had said, was a failed experiment. His stomach was infinite and all the things he had seen here..everything was from different times, different places..and this. The missing peice.

"Envy..I'm begining to understand." Envy cocked his head to the side in mock curiosity.

"Oh you do, do you Chibi?" He sneered. He really didn't give a shit anymore. Chibi-chan didn't understand anything, no matter how smart he thought himself to be.

"All this," He gestured to all the bits and peices of time rotting away in an ocean of red decay. "Is here to hide the evidence. I know what you fuckers did at Cselkcess." Envy was back in his..normal..form now, but Ed could still remember, could still see that horrid creature that he really was. The trapped souls.."Those people..Were transmuted into a philosophers stone....You were created using the people from Cselkcess..weren't you? And they're still inside of you..suffering."

"Wrong Chibi-chan." Envy sighed. It was mistake showing Ed what he really looked like. He knew that, but he wanted him to know..to see. To accept him. No, not even. No..what he wanted was for Ed to see him and hate him. He wanted to hear it. A twisted desire but..he was tired of the games. Envy was the master of deception, of lies, he tricked people and found amusement in the gulibility of humans. But Ed..he didn't want to trick him. He wanted to show Ed all that he was, all that horrid and ugly and vileness that he was composed of. Envy needed him to see it.

"These souls don't even remember what they look like..They can never go back to being human. The spirit and the physical body are merely bi-products. These souls are nothing but energy to be used." He said nonchalantly. It was a simple matter of fact. Envy had no mindless petty emotions to get in the way. He existed because of the souls fueling his body and the stone. Why should he damn it? They were only human.

Yet he wanted Ed to accept him. All of him. not only what he looked like, but what he had had done aweful things and loved it. Ed couldn't go on thinking there was any good in Envy. Envy wnated to show him just how evil he was and see..if he could still claim to love him. In fact Envy knew that he wouldn't love him, if he ever did before, he most certainly wouldn't now. But that didn't matter. Love was a frivolous human emotion, and a foolish one at that. Love did nothing but cause greater stupidity in an already idiotic race. And even if love was ever worth what humans wanted to believe it was..what difference would it make? Envy was on one side and Ed was on the on the other. A timeless cliche and an all to well known tragic ending.

Their first meeting was in Laboratory #5 and it was anything but romantic, yet each of them had seen something in the other that had been worth remembering.

Ed had seen a homunculous, a perfectly created false human and Envy had seen a human that was no different than any other young, reckless, on the verge of manhood, fighting for a righteous cause boy. Typical. The fire that burned in his eyes was not special to Envy. He had seen it before and he had seen such fires smothered out. No that wasn;t what caught Envy's attention.

It was Ed's body.

Envy had been around a long time mind you, and while he had seen (and killed) many many people, Envy couldn't recall coming across someone with gold eyes quite like Ed's. Though, in all fairness, Envy never payed much attention to the features of the people he killed. In the end, they all looked the same.

But Ed wasn't just his victim, he was also their human sacrafice, so of course Envy needed to know what he looked like. But it wasn't just his eyes. In fact it was the shortness that has first caught Envy's attention. So short and yet so stubborn as he later learned. Second was the automail. Ed was human, but Envy had to give some..respect. Very little mind you. Just enough to deem Ed worthy enough to be his fucktoy.

He had looked so beautiful, covered in his own blood and eyes so full of hate. Reminded Envy a little of himself.

Naturally he hadn't wanted to fight the Fullmetal Alchemist, that metal arm would definately hurt. Envy hated pain, no matter how short it was for him, no matter how death defying his body was. He detested feeling pain, especially when the cause was generally from humans. Just the thought that such inconsequential creatures could hurt him pissed him off to the point he often found himself going into blind rages and killing everything in sight. All his sibling recognized him as the most licentious of the 7 sins that made up their happy little family. And that crazed look Ed had in his eyes when he was ready to fight them to the death..was exactly what reminded Envy of himself.

Ed's whole world was pain(not that Envy cared, he actually thought it was pretty funny) and Envy's whole world was to cause pain. He wanted the humans to suffer and die like the vermin they were, Ed wanted to save them or whatever. That whole 'hero' thing. So different, not even opposite sides of the coin, but two completely different coins.

Envy often questioned himself. Sure he needed a good fuck now and then, but why did he keep it going? Of course he couldn't kill Ed. They had plans for him, but that didn't mean he had to continue fucking him. Envy also realized the paradox of hating humanity, but screwing a human while still harboring that hate. For him it was the same as killing a human.

Sex was power. Domination. And torture. Envy was never the one being fucked. When he found a human to his liking, he took them, whether they wanted it or not. And it hurt. And Envy not only got off on the sex, but also on their pain. The knowledge that though he didn't kill the human, that person, be it a man or a woman would suffer fir the rest of their pathetic lives remembering what Envy did to them. Sometimes Envy would disguise himself as a friend and then rape the person. That left even more scars that woudl never heal. And he loved their pain. Relished in it.

They would do the same to him if given the chance.

Sometimes, and Envy found this to be particulary cruel..he would make them enjoy it. What was worse than being raped by a monster, a monster that was very not human with glowing eyes and a sadsitic grin..and enjoying it? Envy always looked to see what happened to is victims when he was through with them. To see what they did. To wtach their suffering play out. The ones that enjoyed were the ones most likely to commit suicide. Envy always laughed at their pitifulness.

That was what Envy had done to Ed.

Envy had never thought it would be a hard choice to make. His 'family', or Ed. Naturally he would choose the homonculi. That's what he was, that's what he wanted. Ed was only the human that he banged a few times a week. He was a fucking _human_. He was nothing, he didn't mean anything! And yet...why was it so hard to watch his 'Father' attack him? Why did it take so much effort to stay put and not move. Not make a move while Ed frutilessly attacked Envy's creater and was tossed around like a rag doll.

Ed had used the transmutation circle he had memorized from the ruins at Cszelkess, plus the missing chunk of the ruin he had found when Envy got pissed and decided to bash Ed around a bit. With the help of Envy's stone..they escaped the unescapable Hell that existed within Gluttony. Envy already knew all about Hohenheim and how his own 'Father' was an exact replica. Fuck, Envy knew more than Ed did about everything.

Ed, however, was shocked when he saw a man that looked just like his father and then find out it wasn't his father. Put the kid for a loop. Envy remianed standing on the side with a recently healed up Gluttony(their exiting of his stomach was somewhat violent and bloody. Gluttony was quite literally torn nearly in half). When Ed put two and two together and labeled the Hohenhiem look alike as the 'super bad guy' all Hell broke loose. And Envy had to sit there and watch.

When a moment came for him to act, he did without hesitation. He held Ed back. Keeping him from saving his friend from what Ed surely considered a fate worse than death. Becoming a homunculous. He held him back to keep him safe. It killed Envy to admit that, but it was true. More so then interupting the birth of the new Greed, Envy was trying to keep alive. He was their human sacrafice yes..but he was replacable. Somehow Envy doubted his replacement would be as good in bed.

When all was said and done, Envy for the first time in life felt ashamed. not of who or what he was, but of what he felt and thougt. He begining to think that he should do away with Ed himself to stop this insanity. He didn't love him! He didn't..he loved no one, nothing mattered more to him than himself. He chose a pretty body to hide his ugliness becuase he deserved the best. He hated pain becuase he superior and should be the one to administer pain, not recieve it. The humans were the vermin and he was stronger, more beautiful and almost immortal. Ed..was nothing. With time, he would be but a memory..then nothing for there would be no need in remebering a foolish human. One of many that he had played with. Ed would die, one way or another and Envy would live on. Because he was strong and definately not human.

Why couldn't he actually believe that? Why did Chibi-chan_ matter_? How could he think like this? Actually believe that a mere human meant anything more than a spec of dust in the wind? He really should just kill him. That would put a stop to this growing idiocy. And even so...even if it wasn't..stupid (which it was), even if the curcumstances were different and They could actually, Envy took a deep breath, love each other...what difference wold make after Ed had seen what he really looked like?

Ed would never accept him. That was the worst part. Ed couldn't see just how pitiful and unsignificant humans were, just how much Envy was lowering himself by being with him that way he was. Ed didn't see the sacrafices Envy was making for him. All Ed saw was a monster.

After getting home and showering Ed collapsed on his bed. Too much for one day. Gluttony escaping then eating them. Being trapped with Envy..seeing Envy's true..form. Lin becoming a homunculous! Learning more about the homunculi and a finding a Hohenhiem look alike that defied all laws of nature. But...Al was safe. And that was what mattered.

After a long nap Ed was able to think more clearly. He had been an exhasuting and fairly traumatic day. He had dreamt of Envy. He was standing in darkness, a single tear had been trailing down his cheek, but his eyes were anything but sad. They were hateful and angry. Just thinking about the dream made Ed shudder. Envy looked terrifying and deadly. Cruel. And that was what he was. A perfect description.

He carlessly threw away Lin's life like he was an insect. In fact wasn't that what the Van impersonator called humans? Insects? He had, and the chilling voice filled with hate and perfect sincerity was what frightened Ed the most. Human lives really menat nothing to the homunculi. Ed..realy meant nothing to Envy.

Of course not. Why would he? He was only human. Only a hole to fuck, a mind to screw with, a body to hurt.

Ed still couldn't see what it was about Envy that made Ed...love him. Love him with an intesity that scared him even more than the chilling words of the Hohenhiem look alike. Envy was cruel and depraved. Just thinking about him made his heart hurt. Thinking about that..thing..the creature Envy truly was, thinking how that that was what fucked him, was inside of him. Touched him and made him fall in love. Envy could be lieing. Could say that was his true form becuase he wanted Ed to suffer more. Envy favorite past time was fucking with Ed in more ways than one after all.

Ed sighed. He knew that wasn't true. That was Envy's true form. No matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise. Why did he show him? Envy had acted so..odd. Why? What could Ed be missing? What wasn't he getting? The more he thought about the events of the previous day (he had slept the rest of the day and all night) the more he realized he was missing nothing. Envy started the terrible civil war that had swept across the country. The wra that took so many lives, Winry's parents including. Made the Ishbalans refuges and looked down upon even more. A pointless war that never had to happen if he hadn't been for Envy. And the fucker was proud of it! Proud! How could he ever love a horrid creature like that! Not even human, a monster in every sense of the word.


	5. Chapter 5

Ahhh sorry about the delay...hehehe..see..I got lazy..and discovered the Joker by Heath Ledger and quite honestly, I fell in love. I promise I will try not to do this again with the...not updating. Thank you to those reading and a big thanks to those who reviewed, a part of this chapter was a request.

To the one who requested, they'll know which part^^. As I'm sure you're aware, I have this thing with typos. Do forgive me, I try to get them..but I never manage to get all of them. It's fanfiction, so I'm not very concerned with its appearnce. Ususally I don't let people see my writing (not like they would want to mind you) so really, it's the content, not the appearnec that is more important to me. What is being said, not how. That being said, I do try to make it good. I'm just not very used to editing, if anyone cares to be my beta, do let me know. That would be wonderful. I do have a beta, but I hate bothering her with my craptastic writing. Her fics are better, if you like Naruto, particulary Kakashi, read ukexchan's fics.

Lastly, this fic starts at manga volume 13, this is 14 right here, so..I'm just going with the manga, the only real difference that Ed and Envy are in love^^ I will branch oiut soon and do a chapter or two on how they fell in love. Do enjoy and thank you.

Don't own anything.

"Good job Envy, you kept our human sacrafice alive. It would have been a shame if he had died." Father said affectionately to his child. Envy nodded. That's right. Ed was their sacrafice. Nothing more. Envy would not allow him to ever be anything more ever again. His shriveled heart can no longer take it. He bowed his head slightly in respect and walked away. He needed to get away. He needed to think. He must remember who and what he was and what that meant. He needed to get his priorities straight. He was a homunculous. Ed was human. Ed wanted to "save the world" and all that pustulating bullshit. Envy wanted to give it what it deserved. What the humans deserved. There was no room for frivolous emotions like love. Or even pity. They came at too high a cost and Envy was tired of paying it.  
Humans were greedy, self driven creatures. The sins Envy and his sibling were named after were human sins. The very sins that had brought the homunculous into the world. It was their own inperfections that drove them to create something perfect. Their ambitions and greed, their pride and envy, their wrath and sloth, their lust and gluttony. Humans each had to have everything while everyone else should have nothing. That was their nature. In the same sense they all longed to be free, yet they all wanted to cage each other. They were stupid and primitive.

And homunculi were above them. Humans were mere fodder for the homunculi. The imperfect bases for the perfect beings. They were arrogant in thinking they could control the natural laws, and in their arrogance they were slowly destroying themselves. By creating the homunculi, they had signed their own death warrent. And not just the Envy and his own, but in humanity itself was the self destruction rampent.

Envy sighed. Ed. Ed was arrogant in believing he could bring back the dead. So sure and so full of pride in his skills that he attempted the forbidden, believing he could. Believing he was right. Even now, his human arrogance was clear. He still believed he was right and Envy was wrong. He saw Envy as a monster, undeserving of his affections. Yet I seemed perfectly deserving of his dick, Envy thought bitterly. Wasn't that just like a human. Sexual gratification always made everything ok.

Envy could no longer play along in this game of lust and forbidden love. The price was everything that made him what he was, and he no longer believed he could give it up to be with Ed. Ed..did not feel the same way. Envy wondered why Ed had engaged in this "relationship" with Envy. What was he gaining? It was thoughts like these that made Envy want to believe that Ed did love him. But his actions in Gluttony's stomach proved that theory false.

Once Envy had been ready to..to..do whatever he needed to do to be with ed. He had been ready to give up so much. And now it all seemed so foolish. Now, things were clear. He and Ed were too different. It was lust. They had fallen in love with the circumstance, not the person. Envy had found it deliciously forbidden. An exciting new game to play. After 200 years, one gets bored after all. He could tell himself that and force himself to believe it.

Ed was just as pathetically human as the rest of them, he didn't deserve to live. He didn't deserve Envy's love. He couldn't even see, or rather refused to see, the utter _humanity _within Envy.

"Colonel!"  
"Fullmetal." Roy regarded his younger comrade with calm acknowledgement.

"Have a seat." King President Fuhur gestured for Ed to sit. Ed complied.  
"What's going on?" Inquired the young alchemist. Roy gave a frustrated sigh.  
"Alot's happened. More than you'd believe..." He rubbed his weary eyes, suspicion clear in them.

"SGT. MajorFuery is in the south, Warrent officer Falman is in the north...2cd Breda is in the west." His features hardened, his mouth an angry line. "LT. Hawkeye was made the President's personal aide." He said in a low seathing voice.  
"What?!" Brash as always was Ed. But he could see that the colonel's men (and woman) were being held as hostages and sent far away from their comander. It was clear as day to everyone how well those soldiers worked together under Colonel Mustang.  
"It's more than that though. It's not just part of the army, it's all of it. Everyone is guilty.

Ed looked aprehensively at the president. Could he be..a homunculous? The easy going president.

"When I was in the hospital..you came to see me." Ed had almost been fooled into believing he could be a friend. He was always laughing, making jokes. He seemed so..friendly. A good guy. The kind you would serve, the kind of men other men could follow and lay down their lives for. What a farce. What kind of man demanded war of his people?

He was overconfident in having only a single weapon in a room with three powerful alchemists. There was a sinister gleam in his eye.

"I said everyone is the enemy..I told you I would call on you. You three...are very valuable to me. Do as I, keep you place and stay quiet..and no harm will come to you." The easy going man gone, the true devil sat in his place. Homunculous. Monster...._Envy_.

The guilt still ate away at him, even now that..whatever had been between them was over. It didn't change the fact that he had lied to his family. To Al. He had been on a steady, but sure path to self destruction,and only now could he even begin to attone for it. Al didn't know..but Ed still had to make it up to him. He had to fight them. Even..even _him._

"And what about the people not fortunate enough to be human sacrafices?" Ed spat out bitterly."

"I said that does not concern you..Fullmetal." Calm. Assurd. Dangerous.

"Fullmetal Alchemist." The name felt like poison on his tongue now. Once he had carried that name with pride. No more.

"You gave me that alias...I honored it...I never thought..it would means something so evil." Ed held the blood stained golden watch in his hand. Once again he felt anger riseing in him. Envy..never told him. Never told him a damn thing about the president, or the conspiracy, the corruption in the government. Nothing. Why? If he had loved him, wouldn't he say something? Warn him? Or was Ed just a little pet to him? Just a fucktoy. His fist clenched the watch, the edges biting into his skin. Envy never truly wanted to be with him. He had never been willing to make the sacrafice it took for them to be together. To truly be together. And..if Ed looked inside of himself...he wasn't so sure he was willing to either. Theirs was a doomed love from the begining. It was meant to fall apart before it even really began. He could not look back anymore, he had to look forward. He had to remember who he was and what he must do. He could no longer afford to love Envy.

"I'm casting away..this alias. I did this, I became a dog of the military to serve my own desires. To gain access to restricted books. I shamed myself by serving the military and not the people in the hopes that it would all be worth it. That my brother and I could be whole again. But..this is more than just a self serving ambitious government. This system of state alchemists is only a means of selecting human sacrafices to meet some sick goal. I want no part of your games anymore. I quit." He threw the watch onto the table, flecks of blood dotted the white painted wood. Bradly sipped his tea. Ever the calm facade.

"No...You don't. Keep the watch."  
"I don't want it anymore!" He banged his fist against the table. Didn't this man see? Or was it so hard for hhim to understand defiance? He would not serve him anymore! And even in this, Envy face still permeated into his thoughts. Why couldn't he just forget him?!

"No...You will continue to serve the military...of your own free will." He sipped his tea. Roy sat in silence, watching the scenario play out.

"My own free will.." He scoffed. Obviously not. Just what could he do to make Ed stay? He wouldn't!

"Oh..but you will...what was her name? Ah yes..Winry Rockbell. I believe she currently is employed in Rush Valley..would you like me to recite the exact address?" Ed's eyes widened...That Bastard.

"Don't you dare touch her!" Bradley only pushed the watch forward. No more needed to be said. Ed had lost this time. Angrily he snatched the watch and stuffed it in his pocket.

Though no threat had been made on her life, Ed still called Winry to check up on her. He had to keep her safe. Winry..she meant so much to him. Once he could've imagined them...one day..being..together. But..then Envy came into life and took it over. Thoughts of Winry had lessoned, consumed by thoughts of sin. Even now, he couldn't see her as he once had. Couldn't see a future with her. Even now, his heart belonged to Envy.

"No we..just wanted to make sure you're ok."

"Yeah, you're ok right?!" Piped in Al. After assurance, the boys felt somewhat relieved.

With a sigh he hung up the pay phone. He wished, oh how he wished, things could be different. But it was true. You could not helo who loved. You didn't choose love, love chooses you.

"You know...being that desperate is how they'll getchya." Said a deep voice from behind them. They both recongnized it instantly, though it lacked its usual accent.

"Lin?!" Ed felt immediately relief. His friend was ok!

"I told you..I'm Greed."He sighed. "Lookit you guys. Calling your one weakness, tipping off anyone who might be following you. You guys are a real cliche you know? Easy to manipulate." He grinned deviously. A grin that darkened the features of his, albeit annoying, friend.

"What do you want." Ed grumbled. Maybe he was Greed, but Lin was still in there.

"You're friend..Lin right?..He asked me to deliver this." He held out a bloodied tattered cloth. Ed took it. His brow furrowed. What was this? Some kind of writing?

"He asked that it would go to the woman who was waiting for him." Ed looked up and nodded. He understood. But..

"I don't know where she is!" Why couldn't Greed get off his lazy ass and find her himself?!

"Just do it." He snapped. Ed raised an eyebrow.

"You're going to follow me and kill her aren't you?" Greed actually had the decency to look insulted.

"I wouldn't do something so low! I'm much more upfront than that...'sides..I don't like to fight women." He grinned sheepishly, yet somehow he still looked menacing. "And it's one of my principles never to lie..so..see ya..I'm counting on you." He turned, waving as he walked away. Ed looked apprehensive.

"Hey Lin!"

"I'm Greed." And he was gone. Yet somehow, Ed felt like it was Envy walking away from him.

Ed gave Lanfan the message. She was pretty distraught, having lost an arm and all, and then have her prince go missing. The message seemed to help. Lin was telling her that he had aquired the Philosopher's Stone. But..she still needed to see the prince. It was clear her feelings for him wnet beyond master and subject. She loved him, and was willing to serve him. Ed wished he could do more for her, but..there was nothing that could be done. Lin..was Greed now. At least Ed had always known about Envy, at least Envy had always been Envy.

Perhaps Al's theory had been right. That Ed slept and ate for the both of them. Even so when they went back to their apartments, Ed was ready for a nap. Maybe it was the day in general. It had been a little taxing, but not so much in comparison to their usual, fight bad guys thing.

Al sighed as Ed flopped on the sofa was out like a light. He grabbed a blanket and threw it over his brother. Might as well get some studying done.

Their mouths met again, tongues dancing. His hand touched his lover's cheek, feeling the soft, firm skin. His lover moaned and pressed himself against him, wanting more. Ed couldn't see who it was, but at the moment he didn't care. It was this slow burning. There was no time, no place. Only this, Only this moment of warmth. Of love.

Ed did not feel the heavy searing heat, the sweaty carnal lust, that he so often heard talked of in the showers and lockerooms. No. This was different. This was slow. Passionate. His eyes fluttered closed as his lover's hand slowly caressed his body, as if he was worshipping his form. Ed's hands ran through the long dark hair, feeling the coarse strands and the silky skin of his back. It was like a candle, a soft warmth glowing in the darkness.

He brought their lips together in a kiss, deep and slow. Feeling all there was to feel of each other. Their arms were wrapped tight around each other as if afraid. Their bodies pressed so close. Ed eyes were still closed, he didn't need to see. Only feel.

His lover kissed his neck, his hands touching his chest in just the right way to make his blood boil. A hot tongue made a trail down and down farther. Ed gasped when that velvety tongue licked him down there. The soomth wet appendage tentatively, teasingly touching the tip, then with more vigor. Taking him completely in his mouth. Ed gasped, his hands stroking the rough dark strands of his lover's hair. More, he needed more. He heard a dark chuckle and felt himself being pushed down. He fell onto a soft bed. He smiled, warmly opening his arms and his legs. His lover settled between his legs and gratefully wrapped his arms around Ed in return. Ed's eyes remained closed.

A kiss to his cheek and a felling of penetration that he welcomed. He arched his back as he accepted his lover deep inside of him. He opened his eyes to look into the purple eyes of the man he loved.

"Envy.."

Ed woke up slowly. He looked around, seeing the familar furniture nad decoratings of his apartment in the military building. Just a dream. Nothing more. Nothing..more. And yet, nothing he told himself convinced him. Envy..he still loved him. Loved more than he could bare. He buried his face in his hands and cried silently. Envy...Envy..


End file.
